"God is to be worshipped everywhere, in spirit and truth, as, in private families daily, and in secret, each one by himself; so, more solemnly in the public assemblies, which are not carelessly or willfully to be neglected or forsaken, when God, by His Word or providence, calleth thereunto" (Westminster Confession of Faith: XXI. 6).

 

Implementing Family Worship

Here are some suggestions to help you establish God-honoring Family Worship in your homes. We trust this avoids two extremes: an idealistic approach that is beyond the reach of even the most God-fearing home, and a minimalist approach that abandons daily Family Worship because the ideal seems so out of reach.

Prepare for Family Worship: Even before Family Worship begins, we should privately pray for God's blessing upon that worship. Then we should plan for the what, where, and when of Family Worship.

1. What. Generally speaking, this includes instruction in the Word of God, prayer before the throne of God, and singing to the glory of God. But we need to determine more of the specifics of Family Worship.

First, have Bibles and copies of ;"The Trinity Hymnal and/or song sheets for all the children who can read. For children who are too young to read, read a few verses from Scripture and select one text to memorize as a family. Say it aloud together several times as a family, and then reinforce that with a short Bible story to illustrate the text. Take time to teach a stanza or two of a Hymn, Psalter, or Spiritual Song selection to such children, and encourage them to sing with you.

For young children, try using Truths of God's Word, which has a guide for teachers and parents that illustrates each doctrine. For children in grade four and up, try James W. Beeke's Bible Doctrine series with accompanying teachers' guides. In any case explain what you have read to your children, and ask them a question or two.

Then sing one or two psalms and a sound hymn or a good chorus like “Dare to be a Daniel.” Close with prayer. For older children, read a passage from Scripture, memorize it together, and then apply a proverb. Ask questions about how to apply those verses to daily life, or perhaps read a portion from the gospels and its corresponding section in J.C. Ryle's Expository Thoughts on the Gospels. Ryle is simple yet profound. His clear points help generate discussion. Perhaps you'd like to read parts of an inspirational biography. However, don't let the reading of edifying literature replace Bible-reading or its application.

John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress or Holy War, or daily meditations by Charles Spurgeon [such as Morning and Evening or Faith's Checkbook] are appropriate for more spiritually-minded children. Older children will also benefit from William Jay's Morning and Evening Exercises, William Mason's Spiritual Treasury, and Robert Hawker's Poor Man's Morning and Evening Portions. After those readings, sing a few familiar hymns and psalms and perhaps learn a new one before closing with prayer.

You should also use the creeds and confessions of our church. Young children should be taught to say the Lord's Prayer and memorize the Westminster Shorter Catechism over time.

2. Where. Family worship may be held around the dinner table; however, it might be better to move to the living room or to mom and dad’s bed before bedtime, where there are fewer distractions. Whatever room you select, make sure it contains all of your devotional materials. Use a basket to hold all you need that can be easily moved from room to room. Before you start, take the phone off the hook, or plan to let your answering machine or voice mail take messages. Your children must understand that Family Worship is the most important activity of the day and should not be interrupted by anything.

3. When. Ideally, Family Worship should be conducted twice a day, in the morning and in the evening. That fits best with Scriptural directions for worship in the Old Testament economy in which the beginning and close of each day were sanctified by the offering of morning and evening sacrifices as well as morning and evening prayers, and [in] the New Testament church which apparently followed the pattern of morning and evening prayers. The Westminster Directory of Worship states, “Family worship, which ought to be performed by every family, ordinarily morning and evening, consists in prayer, reading the Scriptures, and singing praises.”

For some, Family Worship is scarcely possible more than once a day, after the evening meal. Either way, heads of households must be sensitive to the family schedule and keep everyone involved. Practice the principle of Matthew 6:33 (“Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”) in establishing a family schedule.

Carefully guard this time of Family Worship. If you know ahead of time that the normal time will not be suitable on a certain day, reschedule worship time. Don't skip it, however; that can become habitual. When you can keep to your appointed times, plan carefully and prepare beforehand to make every minute count. Fight every enemy of Family Worship.

Visit Marilyn Hamilton in our Church Book Store, Books on the Lane, for all of your family worship and devotional needs.

During Family Worship, aim for the following:

1. Brevity. As Richard Cecil said, “Let Family Worship be short, savory, simple, tender, heavenly.” Family worship that is too long makes children restless and may provoke them to disobedience.

If you worship twice a day, try ten minutes in the morning and a little longer in the evening. A twenty-five minute period of Family Worship might be divided as follows: ten minutes for Scripture reading and instruction; five minutes for reading a daily portion or an edifying book or discussing some concern in a Biblical light; five minutes for singing; and five minutes for prayer.

2. Consistency. It is better to have twenty minutes of Family Worship every day than to try for extended periods on fewer days—say forty-five minutes on Monday, then skipping Tuesday. Family worship provides us “the manna which falls every day at the door of the tent, that our souls are kept alive,” wrote James W. Alexander in his excellent book on Family Worship.

Don't indulge excuses to avoid Family Worship: If you lost your temper at a child a half-hour before Family Worship time, don't say, “It's hypocritical for me to lead Family Worship, so we'll skip it tonight.” You don't need to run from God at such times. Rather, you must return to God like the penitent publican. Begin worship time by asking everyone who witnessed your loss of temper to forgive you, then pray to God for forgiveness. Children will respect you for that. They will tolerate weaknesses and even sins in their parents so long as the parents confess their wrongdoings and earnestly seek to follow the Lord. They and you know that the Old Testament high priest was not disqualified for being a sinner but had first to offer sacrifice for himself before he could offer sacrifices for the people's sins. Neither are you and I disqualified today for confessed sin, for our sufficiency lies in Christ, not in ourselves. As A. W. Pink said, “It is not the sins of a Christian, but his unconfessed sins, which choke the channel of blessing and cause so many to miss God's best.”

Lead Family Worship with a firm, fatherly hand and a soft, penitent heart: Even when you're bone-weary after a day's work, pray for strength to carry out your fatherly duty. Remember that Christ Jesus went to the cross for you bone-weary and exhausted but never shrunk from His mission. As you deny yourself, you will see how He strengthens you during Family Worship, so that by the time you finish, your exhaustion is overcome.

(Select portions taken from J.R. Beeke’s work Family Worship re-printed with permission.)